I’m so lucky to have a partner who loves to putter in the garden. While I’m not one to get my hands dirty (most of the time), I do enjoy the beauty of the plants and flowers in my backyard. Here’s a peek at what’s growing this spring…
What’s growing in your garden?
It’s been a while since I’ve written on the blog, and I have to say that I feel like a fraud.
Why?
Well, after a pandemic year of stress, I find myself right back up there in the weight department. All those great bits of advice I gave in my forties seem to have no bearing at all on my now 51 year-old body! It’s as if aliens abducted that woman and replaced her with a flabbier version of me.
Oh, I know. I need to cut myself some slack. And I do. But it’s still hard to read those posts and look at those photos from just four short years ago. Where is she? How can I get her back?
Perhaps those aren’t the right questions for now.
The past year has impacted everyone in many ways. For me, I was considered an essential worker (selling wine, of all things) and continued to report to work. Every day! No working from home for me, which I jealously longed to do. In the beginning there was fear of the unknown – with masks and gloves and not knowing exactly how I could catch this thing. And there were rules, so many rules to enforce on customers and staff alike. The stress took it’s toll, and soon bad eating habits re-emerged.
And then my son did the bravest thing – he moved to Illinois to pursue a PhD in Chemistry! I’m so proud of him, and his decision to make the leap in the middle of the pandemic, but I also miss him. A lot!
So what’s a middle-aged, empty-nester woman to do? As I face this new phase in my life, I think of all the women who have navigated this before me.
The Change, they call it. Oh, it’s a change all right. In more ways than one!
But here I am. And writing seems the only thing that makes any sense right now. Perhaps a shift in subject matter is in order. I’m not the person I was four years ago; and that’s okay. I envision less advice and more sharing. Compassion and cooking. With a little frugality on the side (because some things never change).
I hope you’ll stick around for the companionship and conversation…
I think I’m going to change my conversation starter. I mean, “How are you?” seems so 2020, don’t you think?
Lately when I ask that question, I get the same shoulder shrug, ennui-induced sigh that I know all too well. I, too, am feeling listless and not quite myself in this winter of discontent.
But what if I charge you to “Tell me something good in your life”?
That would make me stop, pause, perhaps even smile at some small thing that brings me joy. Nothing momentous or even note-worthy to most, but something good all the same.
If you asked me that question at this very moment, I would reply, “Warm breakfast casserole made with leftovers from my fridge – yum!”
See, that’s not so hard.
Now you try…
As we approach the end of 2020, I thought I’d check in to see how you’re doing?
Lately I’ve read a lot of posts about how terrible the year was, how people really can’t wait to put this pandemic year behind them. And I understand, I really do. People are tired, they’re sick, they’re grieving, and may even be financially unstable. The future is uncertain. How do you face a new year when you don’t have a job or can’t make your mortgage payment?
But I wonder if the lesson of 2020 is learning to live with uncertainty? I mean, isn’t that what life is all about? Even in good times, we never really know what’s around the next bend. And sure, we can prep and save, create a stockpile of cleaning products and toilet paper, but there will always be an element of the unknown.
As I look back on 2020, I’m choosing to remember the good that came out of the year…
Celebrating my 50th birthday in lockdown by getting steakhouse takeout, and toasting my life at home with my husband and son. And then 2 weeks later honoring our 25th wedding anniversary with a similar celebration!
Zoom graduation with Adam Savage as the key note speaker (very cool) followed by spectacular takeout sushi from Morimoto’s.
The ability to go to work every day as an essential worker. Yes, wine is essential!
Becoming empty nesters in August when our son moved to Illinois for graduate school. I’m so proud of him for following his dream, even in the midst of a pandemic, and for having the mettle to make such a big move out on his own. And hubby and I have enjoyed getting to know one another again, as well as the peace and quiet!
Learning that dinner can be an omelet with a side of roasted broccoli. Or salmon with rice. Or wine and potato chips. Following the path to food freedom is a life-long journey that I’m relieved to have found this year.
Discovering in this year of separation that family and friends really make life worth living. And doing everything I can to foster those relationships – over video calls, texts, emails, and phone chats!
They say that hindsight is 2020, so I hope you can take a good, hard look at this past year and find your silver lining – something positive to carry on your journey into 2021.
I wish you all a Happy, Hopeful New Year!
Be honest with your money, and good things will come to you.
I enjoy Chinese takeout every now and then. My go-to order is Roast Pork Lo Mein with fried vegetable dumplings and lots of garlic sauce on the side. And don’t forget about the fortune cookie – a little something sweet and crunchy at the end of the meal with a prize inside! Who doesn’t like that?
But I’ll admit that most of the time, the fortunes are just plain nonsense. Luck is coming your way. You will receive an award or prize. Eat more Chinese food.
Advertising. Nonsense.
But one fortune (top of page) was different; it resonated with me, and I quietly slipped the thin strip of paper into my wallet, so I could see it on a daily basis. Soon it became my mantra – be honest with your money. Honest. Money.
What exactly does that mean?
I thought about it a lot, and asked myself the question dozens of times. I began to view every financial transaction through the lens of my fortune. Was I being honest with my money? Was I being honest with myself?
The answers to these questions became the framework for the way I handle my finances now. These guidelines have served me well through unemployment, pandemic, and beyond.
Set up a monthly budget and give every dollar a name before it’s in the bank.
Have an emergency fund in place.
Make charitable giving a habit. Automate your giving so that you never miss the opportunity.
Work hard. Don’t steal anything from work – including time, office supplies, etc.
Any windfall, bonus, overtime money goes to paying down debt.
Before making a purchase, ask, “Do I need this right now or is it a want?” “Can I live without it or make do with something I already have?”
Since the beginning of this year, my husband and I have paid down more than $10,000 in debt on wages that are down 40% from last year. How did we do it? Ancient Chinese secret? Good karma? God-moment? I really can’t explain it. But I know that a shift in mindset, sparked by a simple fortune cookie fortune, has changed the way I view money in my life.
Oh, and honesty really is the best policy.
Living Lighter 